Facing My Fears

Photo by Hope Grows. Used by Creative Commons License.

I’m taking voice lessons. I don’t want to. I don’t like it. But I know I need to.

I wrote a loooooong time ago that I am a dancer, who can act and sing. Singing is definitely listed third. Clearly, I do not suck at it, as I just finished Godspell, where I did lots of singing, with 3 solos. I took voice lessons in college. I was actually a voice minor.  I just don’t trust myself at it.

The hardest thing for me in singing is the breath control. It is the complete opposite of my Pilates work. And my Pilates muscle memory, because I trained so intensely and still do it pretty much every day, is much sharper than my vocal muscle memory. In my next role as Ivy (one of the wicked stepsister’s in “Cinderella”), I’m going to need a lot of breath control. While I sing a bit, I spend most of my time screeching, screaming and tittering. I need to support my voice with lots of air, or I’ll lose it before we open!

Plus, there are some auditions coming up that I need to sing for. And really, I’m getting a little tired of the anxiety attacks when it comes to singing! So, I’m facing my fears. Voice lessons, here we come.

I’ve said before that professional performers are this odd combination of supreme confidence and utter vulnerability. You absolutely must believe that you can do every part you audition for. And, at the same time, you must be prepared to be rejected. Over and over. And over. But keep that unshakable core, and go for the next one.

I know it will be good for me. I will learn more about myself and my skills. I will walk into those auditions with more confidence than if I just went with what I have. It will make me a better teacher.

For now, I’ll just fake it. I’m an actor, after all.