March Intimacy Direction / Intimacy Coordination Articles

Power Dynamics in Dance

I am thrilled to be writing a 3-part series for DanceGeist Magazine about Power Dynamics in Dance.

The first part was released earlier this week in the February issue. Read it here. Catch part 2 about disrupting and divesting from harmful patters in March. Part 3 in April will look at consent-based practices.

The ezine is free, but does require a subscription. Get yours here.

Backstage Pass Interview with Boca Magazine!

I was thrilled to be interviewed this summer by Boca Magazine about my work on Theatre Lab’s To Fall In Love and Intimacy Direction in general.

The title cracks me up because I’m really the only one in Dade/Broward/Palm Beach doing this work! It’s easy to be premier that way! But huge shout out to my mentor Dan Granke in Tampa. Technically still South Florida, and they are much more gifted than I.

The piece appears in the February 2021 issue. Here’s a link to the online ezine!

Photo by Wide Eyed Studios.

Photo by Wide Eyed Studios.

January News Stories About Intimacy Direction and Intimacy Coordination

Misuse of Power in Movie Sex Scenes. The Guardian. 31 January 2021.

To be clear, I find this piece HIGHLY problematic.

  1. It’s presentation would suggest that women cannot abuse power- this is obviously untrue.

  2. It invisibilizes non-binary intimacy coordinators, who definitely exist.

I include it here because it is getting shared a lot, and it does have a good summary of the role of an Intimacy Coordinator.

Phoebe Dynevor on Intimacy Coordination for Bridgerton. Backstage. 22 January 2021.

December News Stories about intimacy Direction, Intimacy Coordination. AKA: Bridgerton edition

Congrats to my friends and colleagues Enric Ortuño and Lizzy Talbot for their work as the Intimacy Coordination team on Netflix’s new Bridgerton Series.

Podcast on Consent, Intimacy, and Boundaries

I had the pleasure of speaking with Lauren RE Larkin on Sancta Colloquia very early in the pandemic. We talked about how what I know from training in intimacy direction applies to my work as an educator and all our lives as humans.

CW: sexual abuse, religious content

September News Stories about Intimacy Direction, Intimacy Coordination

What Intimacy Direction can Bring to Dance. Dance Magazine. September 2020.

What Playwrights can Learn from Intimacy Directors. A conversation with Gaby Labotka for Howlround. September 1, 2020.

What It’s Like To Be A Black Intimacy Coordinator In The Era Of Consent And Political Resistance. An interview with Tenice Divya Johnson and Sasha Smith. Elle Magazine. September 8 2020.

Tea and Sex Session on Intimacy Direction

Back in July I got to be a guest on the Wilzig Erotic Art Museum’s Thursday afternoon Tea and Sex sessions, talking about intimacy direction!

Here Melissa and I discuss the “what it is”. This is just the first few minutes of an hour-long conversation and interactive session with participants.

Nicole Perry is a guest on the Wilzig Erotic Art Museum's Tea and Sex Thursday afternoon session with Melissa Blundell-Osorio discussing what is intimacy dir...

August News Stories about Intimacy Direction, Intimacy Coordination

Intimacy Direction in a time of Physical Distance. Emily Snyder for HowlRound.com . Nicole was interviewed for this piece, but sadly no quotes were used.

June News Stories about Intimacy Direction, Intimacy Coordination

What does Intimacy on Stage Look Like after Corona?

Well, that’s a really bold question, as we have no idea what just being on stage looks like right now!

But, in the past week I’ve had a couple of conversations about this, and I do have some thoughts.

  1. Even if we’re “back to normal”, there are going to be performers, directors, and administrators that are more wary of intimacy, especially if those intimate moments would cause a meeting of soft tissues like kissing. I am already in the habit of choreographing a “Plan B” for kisses that can be done in case of actor illness, and understudy stepping in, etc. A good intimacy director/choreographer should have been providing these all along, and they, the director, and the actors involved should all feel just as confident about the story-telling involved in those moments as they do with the kiss. See my earlier post about Plan Bs.

    It is possible that bringing on an Intimacy Director/Choreographer is part of a company’s safety plan. This was raised in a conversation hosted by Directors Lab West yesterday with Ann James of Intimacy Directors of Color and Carly D. Weckstein, an independent sex educator and Intimacy Director (check out the convo here). Bringing in an ID could be a way a company says to their community that they take the physical and mental health of their performers and production crew seriously, and are hiring people with specials skills in doing that.

    Both of these thoughts lead me to #2.

  2. Intimacy Directors/Choreographers are Movement Specialists. And movement is still going to be on stage, even if physical contact is not.

    Intimacy Directors/Choreographers are movement specialists (or at least they should be). They have been trained in movement for the stage. Sometimes this aspect gets lost in the more “news-worthy” part of the job- gaining consent, establishing boundaries, hopefully avoiding lawsuits for the company, etc. I came to this work after 10 years of choreographing. I have a Bachelor’s degree in dance. I have studied movement at an even deeper level by obtaining my Laban certification. When I train with IDI, IDC, or TIE, we are given feedback not just on our ability to put best practices in communication into use, but in our choreographic abilities. My job is make sure the story is told, and told well, and that the director and actors feel confident in the performance.

    I believe my in-depth knowledge of movement will make me more of an asset to confident story-telling on the stage, even if the actors must remain apart or not fully physically engaged in the intimacy.

I do believe my role will still be necessary when we get back in space together. For safety and for the sake of the story, I think it will be even more necessary! We’ll see if the industry agrees!

I’d love your thoughts- whether you are a performer, director, producer, or audience member- what would seeing this role in a playbill mean to you pre-Coronavirus? Would it mean the same, or something different after? Leave me a comment!

April News Stories about Intimacy Direction, Intimacy Choreography, and Intimacy Coordination

25 April 2020. Sexy Beats: How “Normal People”' ‘s Intimacy Coordinator Works. by Sian Cain for The Guardian.

21 April 2020. Claire Warden Receives Drama Desk Awards Special Award for Intimacy. See list of all nominees and awards at the link.

12 April 2020. The Stake Were Really High: The Stars Bringing Sally Rooney’s ‘Normal People’ to Life. by Claire Armistead and Johanna Thomas-Corr for The Guardian.

4 April 2020. Creating Scenes of Intimacy Safely, Seamlessly, and Convincingly on Stage. by Aaron Krause for Theatrical Musings.

Consent and Intimacy in Dance

Please check out the guest post I wrote for the Consent Awareness Network!

Momentum Stage is pleased to be an Ambassador for the Consent Awareness Network.

March News Stories about Intimacy Direction, Intimacy Choreography, and Intimacy Coordination

Times-Union. Choreographing Intimacy for a New Era in Theater by Tony Pallone. 24 March 2020.

HowlRound Theatre Commons. Intimate Reform. by Ann James. 19 March 2020

Denton Record-Chronical. The Look of Love. by Lucina Breeding. 19 March 2020

Provokr. Creating Initmacy. by Amanda Jane Stern. 9 March 2020

The BBC. The Women Helping Hollywood Shoot Safer Sex Scenes. by Valeria Perasso. 7 March 2020

The New York Times. Review of “The Hot Wing King”. by Ben Brantly. 1 March 2020

Intimacy in a Time of Distance

Tonight should start the 2nd weekend of 2 shows for which I had the honor of creating the intimate moments. Island Song at Measure for Measure Theatre Company and To Fall in Love at Theatre Lab. Both are currently postponed, due to coronavirus limitations in Florida. 

But, I wanted to take this moment to talk about Intimacy Direction/Choreography, because this outbreak raises questions that may not be considered when it comes to staging or performing intimacy in shows. What happens if a performer is sick? Can we still tell the story effectively and well? 

Whenever I choreograph intimacy that includes a kiss, I always choreograph a Plan B. As one of my mentors, Tonia Sina reminds us, “Kissing is the most dangerous thing you can do onstage.” Unlike stage weapons, the soft tissues and bodily fluids are quite real. It’s my job as the Intimacy Choreographer to develop this, not the actors’. It’s my job as the Intimacy Choreographer to rehearse, to make sure the actors are confident in it, and that tech knows what to expect if we go to Plan B. Last week, in one of the shows, we had to employ our Plan B. It took 0 extra rehearsal time, because it had already been set. All it took was a check in with the actors and stage managers at call time. 

I also had a significant case of NOT having to employ plan B, because of how I staged the intimacy. (I hope Island Song reopens, and you get to see it, so I’m going to remain slightly vague about what happens.) Island Song has a number in which every member of the cast is involved in intimacy, in some way, except for 1. Most of them with another member of the cast, some of them alone, but they are all onstage, in various states of undress, involved in various acts of intimacy. What is significant about this number and it’s staging is that not only is the sex simulated, the kissing is too. All of it—  and there’s a lot. 

There exists currently only 1 review of the show, and I don’t know that it will ever be published. But NOTHING in that review makes me think the critic felt it was “fake”, “inorganic”, “inauthentic” or less than. 

I created that scene to look like a lot of people enjoying physical intimacy—  while keeping my actors safe. Part of my decision making was purely creative choice. I wanted the couples to all start the same, and then diverge into various acts. Part of my decision making was time related. I had a lot of people to choreograph, so having something repeatable cut down on my teaching time, giving me an efficient rehearsal. Part of my decision was safety- if I can make actors and the story look good, while keeping them safe, why wouldn’t I?! I don’t give them real swords so “the audience believes the story”. Staged correctly, I don’t need to give them real kisses either. 

Now, not every stage nor every story allows for that. This one did, and I took advantage of it. And on Thursday night last week, I was very, very glad. The actors were able to do their choreography confidently, with no changes. And they looked awesome. Again, I really hope Island Song is able to come back, and you can go see. Then you can tell me if you agree!

If you are a director or an actor that has never worked with an Intimacy Choreographer/Director before, I hope this gives you a different perspective. It’s not just about harassment or abuse. Directors, we really can make your job easier. Actors, we can help you stay healthy. We can help the people who want to do a good job confidently go out and do their jobs. 

When we’re all able to get back to making art together again, I hope you’ll think about hiring an Intimacy Choreographer/Director, even if it’s “just a kiss”. 

And, just in case you hadn’t heard, currently, Theatrical Intimacy Education is recommending that NO shows go forward with intimacy, in rehearsal or in performance. 


February News Stories About Intimacy Direction, Intimacy Choreography, and Intimacy Coordination

Medium. Setting the Stage for Sexual Abuse. By Randy Ginsburg. 27 February 2020.

Montana Kaimin. Intimacy coaching: Keeping actors safe behind the scenes. By Maghan Jones. 26 February 2020.

The Edmonton Journal (Canada). Special Director on Hand to Manage Scenes of Intimacy. 21 February 2020.

The Mail Tribune (Oregon). The ‘Sacred’ of OSF’s Intimacy Director. 17 February 2020.

Oregon Live. Oregon Shakespeare Hires First Full-time Intimacy Director ahead of 2020 Season. 17 February 2020.

CBS Sunday Morning How intimacy coordinators oversee romantic movie, TV scenes. . 9 February 2020.

The Pulse (an NPR Podcast). How Movies Move Us. The segment with Alan Yu includes an interview with Intimacy Director Colleen Hughes. 7 February 2020.

Intimacy Coordinators on Set in Israel. 6 February 2020.

The Lyric Stage (Boston) interviews their Intimacy Director to learn more about the work. 4 February 2020.

The Age (Melbourne, Australia). Rules of engagement: How actors and directors create intimacy on stage. By Louise Rugendyke. 1 February 2020.

Intimacy Direction / Intimacy Choreography Video Series

In my effort to update my website, I realized that this series of videos that I created last summer was living only on YouTube. So here are 8 videos about:

  • what is Intimacy Direction

  • why you might or might not hire an Intimacy Director

  • how I got into Intimacy Direction

  • what the scene is like in South Florida

  • and more.

    The first video in the series was produced by David Nail and Cliff Burgess. Enjoy!

Consent Isn't About Sex.

Consent isn’t about sex. It isn’t about touching, or feelings, or legal liability. 

Consent is about seeing the other person in the conversation with you as a full person, with boundaries, agency, opinions, and rights.

In the performing arts, saying “yes”, whether we really mean it or not, has been reinforced over and over again. Especially for those on the performing end.  We need to see “yes”, “no” and “I need more information” as equally valid answers.

Theatres are starting to incorporate consent work into scenes of an intimate nature. The work of Intimacy Directors International and Theatrical Intimacy Education has been to establish these practices. But what about other moments where consent should be requested? 

  • Auditions

Theatres who hold auditions without disclosing the productions to be staged, and/or the characters available in those productions. I get that sometimes you are waiting for your rights, and you really need to have auditions. However, consistently holding auditions without telling performers what they are auditioning for is telling performers that their time, preferences, boundaries, and ability to ask questions that matter to them are of no importance to you. That you, as the producing entity, have the right to know what you are looking for, but they don’t. This continues traditional power structures and removes personal agency from your actors.  This may not be what you’ve intended, but it is what happens; and it’s dehumanizing.

  • Teaching/Directing

A lot of choreographers and dance teachers especially, instruct with corrective touch. It’s a time honored tradition. However, with 1 in 6 women having been a victim of sexual assault, and approximately 60,000 children assaulted each year, touch from a stranger or authority figure may not be one of the best ways to teach groups any longer. Yoga is doing a better job with trauma-informed practice, and dance and theatre would do well to consider some of their solutions. At the very least, teachers/directors/choreographers should be asking before we touch anyone on any given day. 

Somatic movement pioneer Irmgard Barteniefff said “Tension masks sensation.” If you see a student tensing before you correct them, is your touch even going to be useful? Could your corrections actually be more applicable to more people, if given with evocative language, rather than personal touch? 

Check out this free resource about teaching with a trauma-/touch-informed lens. Purchase Touch card templates here. 

  • Being an Audience

Does the audience know what they have agreed to when they enter your space? If your show is “immersive” or contains content that may offend someone, is your audience aware of that before they buy tickets? As they buy tickets? Enter your space? Or only after it has happened? And are they clear on whether or not they can interact with the performers, and the consequences of violating expectations? You may assume your audience has consented, simply by being in your space. But consent requires specific and clear information, and if that hasn’t been given, neither has consent. 

How are you (or is your organization) approaching consent in artistic work? Leave a comment!