January 2022 News Stories About Intimacy Direction and Intimacy Coordination

The Golden Age of Nude Men. The Wall Street Journal. 26 January 2022.

Boston-area Intimacy Directors and Coordinators speak about their work. The Boston Globe. 3 January 2022.

The Meaning of Intimacy

When we talk about intimacy, what do we mean?

Often, when I talk about my work as an intimacy choreographer or intimacy coordinator, people also want to know- “What is the meaning of intimacy?”

Here are 2 definitions of intimacy, plus my own meaning of intimacy. Please note- all of these refer to onstage/onscreen intimacy.

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So What Does an Intimacy Choreographer DO?

Hopefully, by now, with Bridgerton putting Intimacy Coordination on the map, most folks know WHAT an Intimacy Professional is. But what does a job look like? The answer is, like most things “It depends!”

Lately, I’ve been getting calls for productions that are about to start, or have already started rehearsal. They have their cast, and they want me to come in and create a safe space to explore intimate movement. And this is great, and I love doing it! However, the job can be more than that, and is often more effective if I get to start earlier!

If a production hires me as soon as they know what show they are doing, and that they need an Intimacy Professional, I can help them create consent-based practices from even before day 1! Some of these things might look like:

  • Helping to craft or giving feedback on audition notices

  • Being present for auditions

  • Being present for callback- especially if touch may be part of the scene

  • Creating a breakdown of all intimate possibilities in the script (this doesn’t mean you have to use me for all of them, but I have found that most stories have waaaaaayyyyyyy more intimate moments than initially thought of)

  • Being a part of the scheduling process to handle the chosen moments with enough preparation and time

  • Attending launch events and talking to board and press about the production

  • Attending the first read-through

  • Conducting cast and/or company workshops on power and consent

  • Helping to create an atmosphere of transparency and trust

  • Having phone calls with actors to prep for work

All of these things could help the production be more cohesive and safe. They help build trust in the ensemble, with the Intimacy Professional as part of that. Much of this work I do not charge a separate fee for, because I consider it preparation for doing the best job I can do. So productions also get more for their investment when they bring me on from the top.

So, call me! And, for the quality of your production, the earlier, the better.

Motif Writing in Intimacy Choreography

A year of work, and another year of waiting, and my first peer-reviewed journal article has been published! In it I share my experience using Laban/Bartenieff Movement Analysis (LBMA) for Meaning-Making and Show Maintenance in Intimacy Choreographer for theatre productions. You can read it online in the Journal of Movement Arts Literacy.

Huge thanks to:

The cast and creative team of Measure for Measure’s In the Heights

The cast and creative team of TheatreLab’s The Glass Piano

My IMS cohort and faculty educators

Teresa Heiland, the editor of JMAL

June Intimacy Direction / Intimacy Coordination News

28 June 2021- How an Intimacy Coordinator Helps Actors Navigate Sex Scenes. Slate.com

7 June 2021- What does an Intimacy Coordinator Do? Cnn.com

6 June 2021- Michaela Coel’s speech after winning a BAFTA, honoring Intimacy Coordinator Ita O’Brien.

April Intimacy Direction / Intimacy Coordination News

January News Stories About Intimacy Direction and Intimacy Coordination

Misuse of Power in Movie Sex Scenes. The Guardian. 31 January 2021.

To be clear, I find this piece HIGHLY problematic.

  1. It’s presentation would suggest that women cannot abuse power- this is obviously untrue.

  2. It invisibilizes non-binary intimacy coordinators, who definitely exist.

I include it here because it is getting shared a lot, and it does have a good summary of the role of an Intimacy Coordinator.

Phoebe Dynevor on Intimacy Coordination for Bridgerton. Backstage. 22 January 2021.

December News Stories about intimacy Direction, Intimacy Coordination. AKA: Bridgerton edition

Congrats to my friends and colleagues Enric Ortuño and Lizzy Talbot for their work as the Intimacy Coordination team on Netflix’s new Bridgerton Series.

Podcast on Consent, Intimacy, and Boundaries

I had the pleasure of speaking with Lauren RE Larkin on Sancta Colloquia very early in the pandemic. We talked about how what I know from training in intimacy direction applies to my work as an educator and all our lives as humans.

CW: sexual abuse, religious content

September News Stories about Intimacy Direction, Intimacy Coordination

What Intimacy Direction can Bring to Dance. Dance Magazine. September 2020.

What Playwrights can Learn from Intimacy Directors. A conversation with Gaby Labotka for Howlround. September 1, 2020.

What It’s Like To Be A Black Intimacy Coordinator In The Era Of Consent And Political Resistance. An interview with Tenice Divya Johnson and Sasha Smith. Elle Magazine. September 8 2020.

Tea and Sex Session on Intimacy Direction

Back in July I got to be a guest on the Wilzig Erotic Art Museum’s Thursday afternoon Tea and Sex sessions, talking about intimacy direction!

Here Melissa and I discuss the “what it is”. This is just the first few minutes of an hour-long conversation and interactive session with participants.

Nicole Perry is a guest on the Wilzig Erotic Art Museum's Tea and Sex Thursday afternoon session with Melissa Blundell-Osorio discussing what is intimacy dir...

August News Stories about Intimacy Direction, Intimacy Coordination

Intimacy Direction in a time of Physical Distance. Emily Snyder for HowlRound.com . Nicole was interviewed for this piece, but sadly no quotes were used.

June News Stories about Intimacy Direction, Intimacy Coordination

What does Intimacy on Stage Look Like after Corona?

Well, that’s a really bold question, as we have no idea what just being on stage looks like right now!

But, in the past week I’ve had a couple of conversations about this, and I do have some thoughts.

  1. Even if we’re “back to normal”, there are going to be performers, directors, and administrators that are more wary of intimacy, especially if those intimate moments would cause a meeting of soft tissues like kissing. I am already in the habit of choreographing a “Plan B” for kisses that can be done in case of actor illness, and understudy stepping in, etc. A good intimacy director/choreographer should have been providing these all along, and they, the director, and the actors involved should all feel just as confident about the story-telling involved in those moments as they do with the kiss. See my earlier post about Plan Bs.

    It is possible that bringing on an Intimacy Director/Choreographer is part of a company’s safety plan. This was raised in a conversation hosted by Directors Lab West yesterday with Ann James of Intimacy Directors of Color and Carly D. Weckstein, an independent sex educator and Intimacy Director (check out the convo here). Bringing in an ID could be a way a company says to their community that they take the physical and mental health of their performers and production crew seriously, and are hiring people with specials skills in doing that.

    Both of these thoughts lead me to #2.

  2. Intimacy Directors/Choreographers are Movement Specialists. And movement is still going to be on stage, even if physical contact is not.

    Intimacy Directors/Choreographers are movement specialists (or at least they should be). They have been trained in movement for the stage. Sometimes this aspect gets lost in the more “news-worthy” part of the job- gaining consent, establishing boundaries, hopefully avoiding lawsuits for the company, etc. I came to this work after 10 years of choreographing. I have a Bachelor’s degree in dance. I have studied movement at an even deeper level by obtaining my Laban certification. When I train with IDI, IDC, or TIE, we are given feedback not just on our ability to put best practices in communication into use, but in our choreographic abilities. My job is make sure the story is told, and told well, and that the director and actors feel confident in the performance.

    I believe my in-depth knowledge of movement will make me more of an asset to confident story-telling on the stage, even if the actors must remain apart or not fully physically engaged in the intimacy.

I do believe my role will still be necessary when we get back in space together. For safety and for the sake of the story, I think it will be even more necessary! We’ll see if the industry agrees!

I’d love your thoughts- whether you are a performer, director, producer, or audience member- what would seeing this role in a playbill mean to you pre-Coronavirus? Would it mean the same, or something different after? Leave me a comment!

April News Stories about Intimacy Direction, Intimacy Choreography, and Intimacy Coordination

25 April 2020. Sexy Beats: How “Normal People”' ‘s Intimacy Coordinator Works. by Sian Cain for The Guardian.

21 April 2020. Claire Warden Receives Drama Desk Awards Special Award for Intimacy. See list of all nominees and awards at the link.

12 April 2020. The Stake Were Really High: The Stars Bringing Sally Rooney’s ‘Normal People’ to Life. by Claire Armistead and Johanna Thomas-Corr for The Guardian.

4 April 2020. Creating Scenes of Intimacy Safely, Seamlessly, and Convincingly on Stage. by Aaron Krause for Theatrical Musings.

March News Stories about Intimacy Direction, Intimacy Choreography, and Intimacy Coordination

Times-Union. Choreographing Intimacy for a New Era in Theater by Tony Pallone. 24 March 2020.

HowlRound Theatre Commons. Intimate Reform. by Ann James. 19 March 2020

Denton Record-Chronical. The Look of Love. by Lucina Breeding. 19 March 2020

Provokr. Creating Initmacy. by Amanda Jane Stern. 9 March 2020

The BBC. The Women Helping Hollywood Shoot Safer Sex Scenes. by Valeria Perasso. 7 March 2020

The New York Times. Review of “The Hot Wing King”. by Ben Brantly. 1 March 2020

Intimacy in a Time of Distance

Tonight should start the 2nd weekend of 2 shows for which I had the honor of creating the intimate moments. Island Song at Measure for Measure Theatre Company and To Fall in Love at Theatre Lab. Both are currently postponed, due to coronavirus limitations in Florida. 

But, I wanted to take this moment to talk about Intimacy Direction/Choreography, because this outbreak raises questions that may not be considered when it comes to staging or performing intimacy in shows. What happens if a performer is sick? Can we still tell the story effectively and well? 

Whenever I choreograph intimacy that includes a kiss, I always choreograph a Plan B. As one of my mentors, Tonia Sina reminds us, “Kissing is the most dangerous thing you can do onstage.” Unlike stage weapons, the soft tissues and bodily fluids are quite real. It’s my job as the Intimacy Choreographer to develop this, not the actors’. It’s my job as the Intimacy Choreographer to rehearse, to make sure the actors are confident in it, and that tech knows what to expect if we go to Plan B. Last week, in one of the shows, we had to employ our Plan B. It took 0 extra rehearsal time, because it had already been set. All it took was a check in with the actors and stage managers at call time. 

I also had a significant case of NOT having to employ plan B, because of how I staged the intimacy. (I hope Island Song reopens, and you get to see it, so I’m going to remain slightly vague about what happens.) Island Song has a number in which every member of the cast is involved in intimacy, in some way, except for 1. Most of them with another member of the cast, some of them alone, but they are all onstage, in various states of undress, involved in various acts of intimacy. What is significant about this number and it’s staging is that not only is the sex simulated, the kissing is too. All of it—  and there’s a lot. 

There exists currently only 1 review of the show, and I don’t know that it will ever be published. But NOTHING in that review makes me think the critic felt it was “fake”, “inorganic”, “inauthentic” or less than. 

I created that scene to look like a lot of people enjoying physical intimacy—  while keeping my actors safe. Part of my decision making was purely creative choice. I wanted the couples to all start the same, and then diverge into various acts. Part of my decision making was time related. I had a lot of people to choreograph, so having something repeatable cut down on my teaching time, giving me an efficient rehearsal. Part of my decision was safety- if I can make actors and the story look good, while keeping them safe, why wouldn’t I?! I don’t give them real swords so “the audience believes the story”. Staged correctly, I don’t need to give them real kisses either. 

Now, not every stage nor every story allows for that. This one did, and I took advantage of it. And on Thursday night last week, I was very, very glad. The actors were able to do their choreography confidently, with no changes. And they looked awesome. Again, I really hope Island Song is able to come back, and you can go see. Then you can tell me if you agree!

If you are a director or an actor that has never worked with an Intimacy Choreographer/Director before, I hope this gives you a different perspective. It’s not just about harassment or abuse. Directors, we really can make your job easier. Actors, we can help you stay healthy. We can help the people who want to do a good job confidently go out and do their jobs. 

When we’re all able to get back to making art together again, I hope you’ll think about hiring an Intimacy Choreographer/Director, even if it’s “just a kiss”. 

And, just in case you hadn’t heard, currently, Theatrical Intimacy Education is recommending that NO shows go forward with intimacy, in rehearsal or in performance.